now

 bow sit or squat.. im sure they thaought ud rot.. apparently not..na, neither should one like this..its mine.. its dumb.. if not the only one.. emphasis on, dumb one.. ah fuck wot... take a ba}ow na}ow. meow..haha just for laughs..jfl wat u gonna do now u need a new hit.. before u take anouther bow take a stand again.. then again.. on flip sides wheas my nudda...tkaing me wen i cant speak...ill ariva wen ive the ride up. thats the then yet this is ur now..or not blonde agian show on thoughts gone.. heres the all write written colapse of ya and rise of ah up to nuffin. nice and im gone


ill write to u.. 
and then
there was where i am now
never dissapearing now
or ever
i love here
but i dont like here when i look ahead to there
or backwards to when then was that
and thats wha ti expect when one looks bak to see it as that 
if i could ever remember what it was that i apparently enjoyd
just blank space in my mind 
i needa fill that void
i cant keep this up
sacrificing my brain for this life
id say that line too many times but i dont want to live that line anymore 
i know now i needa take i bow or curtsy allil for what ive come through, i shouldnt have my brain my mind and now i do im questioning the blank knowledge places and then theres these voices that fill up the other half.. i dont desrve this do i.. am i really that ethacally and morrelly wrong down the drain in my brain and ways that i live ar how i see life im too selfish so he tells me.. am i too beleve this well now im not in denial about the lies. i can tell u yeah i am, but aint that the recipe for success they say being a lil self absorb is the material that makes for a leader.. they know how to push throiugh difficulties in life a lil resiliant not bitter though for having to learn that resilliance and 'cold hearted head ways" to get here in this space im unsure if these are actually my feet standing on this bed. whoa this tigers gna creep the pounce in this world cant u see miss vixens not mad mat(e)


i can hold you for as long as ull let this be
if it was up to me
hed let me get this out so i dont go on believeing it anymore
if i write it inseated of living it in my head
wouldnt that be wise in these lives of mine 
so bad its not good
i think i myt have ta find that fairytale life
whoa
through the speakers again i find the pain in me
oh o
whoa
o
wha no
na o
oh o


why do i love this so much i needa know that this now is the begging of this how it could be seen its me in u and im happy to tel anyone thats listening how much i know u as u. and how im proud of us finding eachother in this crazed world... minds of a soilder life of a criminal... the mistakes uve pulled me into seeing and not having to go through again....from knowing and learing u... if i could live nearer to u i would. if only others knew i was talking to u. angel u r to me. e<3ry Single TIme..i miss u.


i wanna know i dont know u at all,,, 
yet ther is much more time but every day gone by is a day im not by ur side in every way we wish.. move on......
please dont but yeah shit i jsut did that and u thought i wouldnt but i did just to say i could do. sic


this bit
the last of it
snapped hit and whippt
distressed mess of the realist mixed chaotic spinner inthis maker creator father faith i have but my walls a shrinking in on me in this life. please. ive got the steps on this trak and thats made rite.. buy this life not the devil in me hate not with me or this voice that likes ta look my way.. id walk by if it took that but there are other ways to play ive given myself a start in getting used to having an audiance.. clouded it is its still a start when shy used to be ur way,, ur learning al lil bout me today . reversed it could have been but i know not what u wish to see of me. the distruction or curruption upon my life ive inflicted on myself,, but how would fait have worked for us if it wasnt this negative outcome of lines in life. hands and swords.. now below this balloon.. up in the strut of ya.. poped that ego busted oh why.. look down on me everyday, faith boi is all i gotta say/ ur not as old as i thought my friend. dont think things are rite in ur mind either by the sounds of things.,. the lotto luck gotta go to find ur lust its faith and a must.  musk or sumthing more green and grown to be stronger than we thought did u think it would happen to u coz i know i was warned and didnt believe a fucking word.. the futer was brighter than its turned u as. 


to leave on that note when really this is a blessing of gifts if i was to believe what that talk with god was about. walking through his garden sight in my mind as if it were a dream and i was awake it was and i didnt listen.. in shok at what was going on. thanks for the image of light. 
 imean it
dont fight fait